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What’s in a name (Top 5 strangest names for gear)

September 6th, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Here at Illuminated Sounds we are big gear heads.  Sometimes the manufacturers of said gear leave us scratching our heads wondering what were they thinking.  So I compiled this list of my Top 5 strangest gear names.  Now I am probably missing some pieces of gears that should be on this list, so feel free to leave some comments of what your Top 5 are.  My honorary mention goes out to the Beat Kangz Beat Thang.

5 -Stanton DaScratch

This product came out while I was working at a major musical instrument retail store, and I’m pretty sure we did not sell a single DaScratch the entire time I work there.  Stanton tried to capitalize on the whole “touch” input craze that was taking over a couple of years ago, but the DaScratch was quickly out shined by iOS devices.  Stanton has since changed the name of the DaScratch to the SCS.3D, and hopefully that will get them to sell a couple more units.  More details and specs

4 -Euphonix Mc Mix

When this product was first announced I was actually excited for it.  I have used the Mackie Universal Control and the M-Audio ProjectMic IO, and honestly I was not really impressed by either.  Euphonix boards were some of the first large format mixers that I started working on, so to my surprise I was pretty disappointed with the Mc Mix.  The Mc Mix is made out of plastic, and it feels like I could break the piece in half with little effort.  The legs are also made of plastic, giving the entire unit a flimsy feel.  Must be a sign for me to move back to analog consoles.  Euphonix is now Avid.   More details and specs

3 – Metasonix KV-100 (The Assblaster)

With gear names like Assblaster, iCunt, and the Fucking Fucker; Metasonix as a company should have made it to this list.  Instead we take a look KV-100 and all it’s assblasting goodness.  The first thing to you should notice about this guy is tubes, and who doesn’t like tubes.  With 5 “real new-old-stock” vacuum tubes you will be able to freak and twist your sounds until they are unrecognizable.  As an added bonus, Dave Lovelace (the Packrat), provides some fun artwork that even the kids can enjoy.  More details and specs

2 -SSL X-Panda

I gotta say that I love SSL.  Their buss compressor will always hold a special place in my heart, but I am not quite sure what SSL was thinking when it came time to name this mixer.  This is a pretty standard expansion mixer.  It was designed to pair up nicely with SSL’s  X-Desk, but the DB25 connection cable will allow it to connect to other analog mixers.  The X-Panda and X-Desk are a nice way to get some SSL in your studio, but personally I will be saving up for my AWS 924More details and specs

1. Evol Fucifier

When I first came across this piece of gear, I thought it was pronounced like “Lucifer”.   To my surprise it is pronounced with an (think luck or duck).  Still this has to be one of the prettiest pieces of studio gear, and I know it would look great in my studio.  I personally would have liked to see a midi input on this guy, but I always want midi input on everything and midi might be overkill for a distortion unit.  If you need a distortion synthesizer to mangle your sounds, then look no further.  More Details and Specs

 

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-tron

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